I’m always asked about sober travel, so I’m continuing my Sober Travel Diaries series from My Kind of Sweet.
My favorite thing about sober travel is that my destinations and adventures don’t revolve around drinking. Isn’t that amazing? The liquid in my cup isn’t dictating where I go, who I visit and what we do.
That means, of course, that we get to go on some pretty epic adventures that we’ll remember forever. (Well, I’ll remember them forever. And since moms are the memory-keepers, I’ll be able to tell my kids all about them.)
If you’re planning your first sober vacation, head to this post, How to Take Your First Sober Vacation.
Cousin time is the best time.
This trip is special to me for a few reasons.
I get to see my daughter bond with my brother’s daughter. It’s a little trippy, each girl a sort of extension of my brother and me. They’re the best parts of us, but their own parts, too, meeting each other and connecting and wading through that special cousin relationship.
We live thousands of miles away from Jay and his family - I can count on two hands the number of times the girls have gotten to spend quality time together.
I’ve recently realized it requires a certain amount of deliberation on our part, to ensure they’re bonded not only by blood but through memories and experience.
Jay and I have spent a lot of this time just watching them and feeling pretty damn lucky that we get to witness it all.
Sibling time is the best time, too.
Speaking of feeling lucky… I feel lucky that my brother is one of my favorite people.
We’ve gone on a lot of bike rides this trip, just the two of us. On those rides, we’re no longer parents trying to raise good, kind kids. He’s just my big brother and I’m just his little sister and that’s all that matters. Our tires bump over the cracked streets and we talk. We talk about his best friend, Lee, who he lost just over a month ago. We talk about my business - its challenges and triumphs.
We share childhood memories and he reminds me of the story of when I was 5 years old, wearing a party hat and riding my bike down a hill. I took both hands off the handlebars to adjust my hat and I fell. Jay knows all my childhood stories and I know his.
We wonder what would have happened if our childhood had unfolded differently. If the adults had paid more attention, or if the authorities had been alerted. We wonder if we would have been split up and it’s a thought that’s far too heavy to bear. We shake our heads. Impossible.
We quote movies and TV shows and have entire conversations that were written by someone else, spoken by someone else, only to be repeated by us a thousand times.
“Way to plant, Ann!”
“Take back what you said about Thor!”
I love walking away posts. Not only does it help me not show my kids’ faces, but there’s just something about them.
Jay took us into his world of exposed hikes and rattlesnakes and elevation gains and hot springs. We got to feel the hot desert sun on our shoulders as we wound up Sinks Canyon to see one of his favorite climbing spots, Killer Cave. He pointed out the route he’s currently working, soaring 100 ft high into the sky, and I said a silent prayer, “Please, keep him safe.”
He leads the way back down the trail so he can keep an eye out for rattlesnakes and point out the poison ivy for us to avoid. He stops to wait for us, never getting too far ahead.
We always make time for selfies.
In between our bike rides and adventures, we just hung out.
We played Pictionary with the girls and laughed until we cried. We watched a few episodes of Loudermilk on Netflix (hilarious and about sobriety, so very on topic). I binged Love Island (Leah and Rob forever). We sent each other reels on Instagram, even though we were sitting on the same couch, 3 feet away from each other. I spent time with my sister-in-law, Kayte, and we connected more than we have in the last 20 years.
We didn’t miss drinking. We didn’t think about alcohol. This life is far too full and beautiful to waste it.
Life goes on.
Lee’s wife, Torie, was with us and it was so nice to be able to spend some time with her. We saw signs of Lee all around us. Rainbows, hummingbirds. I listened to her stories of him, of their life together, of the moment everything changed.
I laid in the grass while the girls played at the park.
One day, maybe they will be required to post black box warnings about alcohol. I’m working on it. 🙃
Have you gone on a sober trip yet?? Would love to hear in the comments. 🤍
I spent my first family vacation -a week with my toddler son and husband in Florida- totally sober. It was fantastic and I refuse to do it any other way.
What a wonderful thing to see your kids be best friends.